pull me up and dont let go..
February 5, 2008
frankly speaking, even until today i haven’t get over with it. i dont wish to sit there for the whole day long. then i still got to fear about the results. so when i had put in so much effort yet i gotten nothing in the end but tears. it’s very disheartened. i dont wish to give up seriously however i have no more motivation. i am lost. i dno what should i do next.. or even dno whr to start again 
mentally, i am sick.
to be fair or not.. for the past one year, i had put in 1o1% effort however for those who had put in only 9o% of their effort, they did better than me. yes, consistent works is what i didnt have and i had regretted being a rotten pear during my sec3 and 4 life. though i didnt fail but because i didnt get my desired results, so i considered myself as i had done badly. i know.. everyone told me that i had done my best and dont set my expectations too high.
i thought i could face it strongly but i was wrong. it’s just too difficult for me to accept the reality. now i got my punishment already and i learnt from it so stop those punishment as i couldnt take it anymore!
the most frightening nightmare i ever had.
